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May you find the way to peace

 


In my i have seen many people. Good, bad, ugly, from low to high anything you can imagine to be a persons nature i have seen many of them. Among them all i only saw "Two People" who gets the title of "PURE". 

They have never harmed anyone, always has a sacrificing mind to help others. They simply don't seem to have the thing called selfishness. At-least i never saw it from them.  Their sacrificing mentality pretty much made their own family suffer. When people hate them for it they are not affected. I find their thoughts ridiculous in modern society.

I simply can't have that mentality of sacrificing to help others to even neglecting oneself and family. But that also what makes them so pure. They simply seem to exist somewhere else mentally. Both are my grandparents. One is not related by blood and the other one my maternal grandpa.

I lost my non relative grandpa couple years back. My maternal grandpa just passed away yesterday morning. There is many reason why he died but he was 91 years old at the time of death. I can't say he lived a happy life but he lived a good life. As his body is being carried by people to be cremated I sit here watching from afar looking from live stream from relatives. I couldn't say a goodbye. 

I wished for him to live a long life but my wish has not been fulfilled. I don't know how to express what i feel now. There is nothing in me. No sadness, no regret, I don't know what to feel.

The one who passed has passed. Nothing  can do can bring him back. So i sit here, like a blank canvas. Dried paint that just cant draw anything now.

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